While conducting our research into the spread of the zombie plague via geocaching, we try to keep track of recent outbreaks and areas that have an increase in activity. Sometimes the information coming in is spotty, as more and more people are turning, television stations are going off air, and the once busy CB and Ham radio stations are more and more often filled with the loud sound of static. We occasionally send out scouting teams from the bunker here in Maryland to check things out if we can. More often than not, they never return. Despite the decrease in communication from the outside world, we have been able to gather enough information to notice a surge in activity in Northwestern Kentucky, and we determined that this was worthy of a specific case study of what exactly is going on in this area.*
As we conducted our research (with our meager resources, including a quickly dwindling number of living humans to conduct the research, and our diminishing food and ammunition supplies), we were able to narrow down the location of this outbreak in Kentucky and determined that most of this activity has been centered in and around Louisville.
What is it about Louisville? It appears that there is a horde of zombies that are extremely active in spreading the zombie plague to geocaches throughout this area. This horde includes a few patients from our study: Nyoka (patient #166), Wade (patient #167), and Taylor (patient #168).
We know that Nyoka was a large animal veterinarian who became infected when she cached with another geocacher, and he unknowingly transmitted the plague to Nyoka when she helped him reach high placed geocaches (he was extremely short). Wade was a prison guard who contracted the zombie plague by going to geocaches that a previous geocacher had infected. Ironically, this was the same cacher that stole two GPS units and subsequently served time in Wade’s prison. After Wade became infected, he went on to infect at least one other geocacher – Taylor. Taylor was a baker at a bakery that Wade frequented. One day Wade saw that Taylor made a Signal the Frog cake, and Wade explained to Taylor who Signal the Frog was and the hobby of geocaching. During this interaction Taylor became infected, and was only able to geocache for a short while before he succumbed to the plague.
It is interesting that Nyoka, Wade, and Taylor all were infected around the same time but presumably succumbed to the plague at different locations. Despite this, they have displayed a typical herd (or, in this case, horde) mentality and have gathered up as a group to infect as many geocaches as possible, and in return, eat as many brains as possible. It appears they teamed up in the Louisville area around November of 2014.
Our research has uncovered that on or around November 1, 2014, the Acting Pine Grove Sheriff gave this warning: ALL POINTS BULLETIN:THE ACTING PINE GROVE SHERIFF KALTENBRUNNER HAS DECLARED PINE GROVE TO BE A CATASTROPHE ZONE UNDER INTERNATIONAL HEALTH ORGANIZATION CATASTROPHE PROTOCOL “CASANDRA”. IN THE AFTERMATH OF A MAJOR INCIDENT, SEVERAL QUARANTEED Z VIRUS PATIENTS CANNOT BE UNACCOUNTED FOR. PREVIOUS SHERIFF WILSON AND 93% OF THE PINE SHERIFF DEPARTMENT ARE MISSING PRESUMED EATEN. NO INFORMATION REGARDING THE WHEREABOUTS OF PATIENTS #166, #167, AND #168 IS AVAILABLE. ANYON……ARGGRGGGHHH……..CONECTION FAILED.
Soon after this warning was issued, there was a spike in zombie activity. For example, it appears that efforts to quarantine Nyoka failed miserably. Media reported that she was seen eating muggles on golf courses and terrorizing joggers in and around the Louisville area. Our research has revealed that local officials tried to deny there way anything to deny as Nyoka continued to feast on locals.
Wade was first spotted in the Louisville area after he crawled out of the luggage storage under a bus at Louisville Bus Terminal, and soon after ate every brain he came across. Some described Wade as the cause of a civil disturbance and that he left a trail of mayhem in his wake. He reportedly attacked a local bar patron, and authorities tried to appease the public by saying it was just an isolated zombie incident.
Taylor was originally spotted at a geocache called “Union Station” in Louisville. Local news crews reported that he ate the brains of several passing muggles. He was later connected to the disappearance of many missing geocachers in the Louisville area.
The trio eventually joined up with other zombies to form the horde that is currently terrifying the remaining survivors of Louisville. As of April 7, 2016, Nyoka has infected 249 geocache locations and traveled a distance of 8009.07 miles between caches. Wade has infected 237 geocache locations and traveled a distance of 7994.72 miles between caches. And Taylor has infected 254 geocache locations and traveled a distance of 8008.08 miles between caches.
Security camera footage that we were able to obtain has revealed the following disturbing images of the Louisville area:
A feast of geocachers!
Even the police are no match for this zombie horde!
The difficulty rating for this cache should probably be increased….
Beware of re-animated bodies at this geocache!
A zombie leaving a trail of innocent geocachers in his wake…
That’s the last ride for that cowboy muggle…
Will this horde continue to wreak havoc on Louisville together, or will the zombies go their separate ways? Only time will tell if the old wives’ tale is true: The horde who eats brains together, stays together.
*Our thanks and appreciation to geocacher Tuantha De Danann, who, risking life and limb, was instrumental in tracking the havoc these zombies have created and continue to create, which was vital to our research for this case study.